If You Take A Kid Out Shopping

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Just as you are headed out the door to do some shopping about-the-town,

you come face to face with this:

First you’re like, “heavens NO!

And she’s all, “pretty pleeeease with sugar on top?”

Who can say no to sugar on top?

That’s what I want to know.

So then you say to the kid,

“OK. I suppose.

SO long as you don’t beg and snivel for stuff and things.

We are ONLY buying Christmas gifts today.

That’s it.

NOTHING.

ELSE.

Also, no staring and pointing at people with missing limbs and teeth.”

She agrees to everythingpinky-promise.

….

You decide to let her look for her gifts first.

Because you are nice like that.

You are not at all thinking,

“Let’s get this done and outta here before she has to touch the public toilet seats”

After multiple sessions of ink-a-bink and ennie-meenie-minie-moe,

she finally chooses the PERFECT mug for The Teacher.

Now to find something for The Brother…

You endure 18 LENGTHILY minutes of:

“How about that one?..No, the other one, or maybe that one. Not red, he has a red one, let’s get blue, but his favorite color is red, I’m getting a red one, no I guess that yellow one, I like slug bugs, he doesn’t like slug bugs, he likes trucks, but not those kinds. What one do you think? I don’t think he would like that one….”

After her gifts are all gotten, she wonders if it would be OK if she just took a quick peek around,

because just MAYBE she will find something,

something that she didn’t know about,

better things that she MIGHT want add to her wish list.

“Um Yeah, I would buy that for you, like, never.

Go right ahead and enjoy that,

in your sweet dreams!”

However, I am a wee bit thirsty…

and of course, she is too.

Next you find yourself enjoying a beverage…

…along with a little something sweet.

Which makes you think:

“We could totally make these things”

“Together.” She says.

An hour later you find yourself leaving the grocery store with a cart full of baking and makings.

Just as you walk in the door…

The Dad says to The Kids,

“You want to go to grandmas?”

Of course they do.

Which then leaves you home ALONE with the sacks full of sweetness.

What you didn’t know,

(but now you do)

is that those cake pop things take WAY too long to make.

We’re talking 3 whole hours of mix, bake, smash, chill, freeze, mix, dip and sprinkle.

After ALL of that it’s like:

You’ve just barely nodded off and then…

BAM! SLAAM! SMASH! CLUNK!

WEeeee’RE HOOooooME!

They immediately smell the smells and see the sight…

Sure. Why not?

Dessert after dinner is over-rated anyways.

I guess this is the kind of thing that happens,

when you take a kid out shopping.

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