Frequently Asked Questions
I’m going to be super honest, I haven’t been frequently asked much of anything at all.
I therefore decided to ask myself, “Self…if you weren’t me, but you were somebody else, what might you ask yourself?”
After coming up with a few excellent questions of my own, and answering them to the best of my ability, I then quickly emailed my sister to “please ask me something…anything frequently” so that I can trick people into thinking that other people might really be interested enough to have actual questions.
BECAUSE, If it looks like people are in fact interested…the husband will continue to support my drawing habit in the way of website hosting fees, #2 pencils and by paying the-other-sister to come fold laundry for me on a weekly basis…whilst I stay super busy doing other V.I.S. (very-important-stuff) such as: asking my own self questions and sketching rubber boots.
Q: Where can I buy your illustrations/cards/things and stuff?
A: Why thank you kindest sister for showing interest in a purchasing-the-stuff type of a way.
I happen to make random things from time to time and if you’re interested you can go to my “shop” page up top and see where to find stuff.
You can sign up for my Wednesday Weekly emails. I have been known to sell or give away things like calendars, posters and cards to my subscribers.
Q: How do you come up with ideas and how do you illustrate your stuff?
A: First, I stand myself in the corner, on my head, for a minimum of 2.5 minutes whilst I sip a steamy cup of peach tea.
This warms up the “creativity” type of brain cells.
I don’t do that for real.
I do nothing interesting at all.
Actually the answer is so boring, it’s not even interesting to write.
Basically, it works like this: get idea, pencil sketch, ink, trash, get different idea, sketch, draw, crumple paper, throw at window, miss, throw at dirty dishes that aren’t getting done, get a much better idea from the husband, the sister or the kids, sketch, draw, ink, scan and then…
You know how auto tune can smooth out an awful voice?
That’s exactly what happens next to my illustrations.
I use some wonderful computer magic to polish it up and add color.
Q: I’ve looked and looked and have yet to see the comment area, your Facebook/Pinterest/Twitter/Instagram pages.
A: I am seriously too busy doing other things like: scraping the neighbors dog poo off of rubber boots and making PBJ’s to moderate comments, to post on walls, pin on boards and tweet on twitters.
I’m especially too busy to moderate comments such as: “click this link immediately for a belly full of laughs and a computer full of laughing viruses… cats-chickens-barnyard-dance.mov/3hourvideo”
“NEW RARE SUPER SPECIAL weight removal product. Drink multiple gallons daily. Deflates spare tires AND provides thick, shiny hair in the exact opposite color that you currently have growing from your scalp pores, much desirable. Currently accept only large USD transactions.”
Who has time for that!?
Q: I have also lived with or am currently living with a large group of wise individuals. I have some very great ideas that must be illustrated today. May I call you, text you or email you a large .zip file containing very interesting/neat/funny stuff?
A: I don’t doubt for a second this is true.
I am sure that this is true that you have interesting slash neat slash funny material which should be illustrated.
Unfortunately at this time…only accept stuff/ideas/things from my sisters
occasionally from my Wednesday-Weekly-Stuff-Getters….
Ok, fine. Email me all of your smashingly good ideas IMMEDIATELY!
I will then sell them for ONE MEEELLION DOLLARS and give you five bucks in return.
Thanks. I appreciate it.
Q: I have a question I’ve been dying to ask of you……
A: Please don’t die.
Your friends and relatives would be very, very sad about this.
Just think how your obituary would sound.
[Your name here] dies of curiosity.
This is a very curable condition…really.
So if you wander on down to the bottom of this page…you will see a question form.
Fill that out.
If I’m not too busy cleaning the above mentioned poo..and your question sounds sincere. I’ll do my best to answer it.
Q: How do you feel about white furniture?
A: I LOVE it. So long as it’s in your house.
Q: Do you like toddlers?
A: I do. Especially when they are napping.
And that’s all the questions that my sister and myself have for me today. If YOU have a question that you’d like to ask me frequently…feel free to complete the “Questions & Comments” form below.