Big Boy Shoes

My 5 year old has been begging for the kind of shoes with laces.

Because once you wear sneakers without the Velcro…

you’re pretty much ready for deodorant and after shave.

I happened to find a SWEEEEET deal on a pair at the supermarket.

This was the kind of SUPER market where in one trip you could pick up a 10 man tent, prescription eyeglasses, eggs and cottage cheese.

First they were 15% off, then they were an additional 70% off on top of that.

We’re talking name brand sneakers here.

Cool kid kind.

The very kind that are usually nigh upon $70 a pop (WAAY out of my price range.)

I went ahead and snagged my up-and-coming kindergartner a pair for a wimpy $15.

OF COURSE I was patting my very own back.

I was about to win the mother-of-the-year award.

You’d do the same.

The first day I didn’t mind the tying so much.

It was pretty stinkin’ cute, actually.

But after dealing with the above situation every 10 minutes for 12 hours a day…

it began to get a lee-ttle tiny bit obnoxious.

I gave up on the tying…

so, he started wearing them like slippers.

Smashing the backs down flat.

Now, any time we need to leave the house for reals,

we have to haul out the crow bar in order to pry the heels back up.

What really gets me…is the length of the laces.

Dude. Seriously?!

I ought write a note to the shoe designer.

Dear Big Kid Shoe Designer,

Why in the tar-nations did you use man sized laces on boy sized sneakers? It’s ridiculous. Just tying the shoe simply isn’t enough. Double tying doesn’t even cover it. We are into the triple and quadruple tie here. The bunny is running around that tree and under that fence so many times that it’s downright nauseating. 


A Frustrated Mother with blistered fingers.


I done had it with the big-boy-shoes!

But, I decided that before I went and murdered them…

I’d at least try and think positively.

Find at least ONE good reason to keep them hanging around harassing us.

Maybe, just maybe tennis shoes have some fabulous qualities that I’m completely missing….

and maybe they are worth the tiresome hassles and gray hairs that they are giving me.

So…I made a comparison chart.

Obviously, after this scientific study, I was all:

I got the following response:

Awwwwwww. Well, Shucker-McSnuckers! How do you argue with THAT?

I guess the lesson to be learned here is that if you’re smarter than me,

and would like to keep life easy-breezy and peaceful …

you’ll keep your kids in the slip-ons at least until the eighth grade.

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